Exceptions and Rules

I am a rule follower. I have been all my life. When I was a kiddo, we were taught to follow the rules. Make good choices and you will receive good consequences. There are rules for everything in life, and most of them are not that hard. Please just follow the rules… It’s not that hard. Have I broken the rules? Yup. Have I made a habit of breaking the rules? Nope.

The world today is full of exceptions to rules that have split up friendships, families, and careers. It’s sad really, and I hope we all emerge out of it soon, with few broken family ties, and hardly any wounded relationships.

I have often found myself being the exception to the rule. As a cop’s kid, I should have grown up breaking all the rules. By being bad to prove to my friends that just because my dad was a cop, I wasn’t going to be a “goody-goody”. I was a younger mom, 21 years old. And I should have jumped off the deep end of responsibility, when the world was stacking bodies that I didn’t realize I’d have to clean up, one day. I am the spouse of addiction. So many in my life told me for years, to get out.

I stayed.

I put in the hard work, accepted my roles in my marriage breakdowns. And took responsibility with my kiddos when we were screwing it all up. All the while, knowing I’m not a quitter. I am stubborn and loyal and honest to a fault. I have been the exception to the rule my whole life. And as I continue to follow the rules of our lives now, I will try to always look for the exceptional. Because everyone deserves to live a life exceptional to what their histories have allowed. Everyone deserves to feel exceptionally optimistic about their futures too.

Rule: Life Goes On. Which for me, sucks big time. I want life to go backwards for one more hug. One more shout out of “I LOVE YOU” on your way out the door. Anyone who has dealt with this kind of loss always wants one more hug, one more conversation, one more chance to say the things they never got to say. I said it all to Will. Every single day. We were taught to always say I love you, because you never know when the last time will be. I am grateful for this. Those are rules I will never hold exception to.

My second half self will have to constantly remind the world that although I prefer rules, I will also be the exception when I need to be.

XOXO

BRIANA

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Afterthoughts

When I re-read what I wrote most times… I surprise myself and have valuable realizations/ thoughts that I’d love to share… You can read them below.

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Postscript: Exceptions and Rules

“The Exception Proves the Rule.”

--Cicero

I was made from a man and a woman who thought they needed to follow the basic rules: “fall in love, get married, have kids” …. I think I was a “miracle” to my mom. She was having health struggles, and was told to try and have kiddos asap, otherwise, she would have to tie her tubes and never be able to have children. Her story to me was that as she was on the operating table waiting for surgery, the doctors told her she was pregnant with me. My mom was always herself. She didn’t lie, she didn’t do or say things for attention, so I will always believe that story of her “miracle pregnancy” even if she actually never said the word miracle.

I have been a rule follower, and have broken rules. I want to always be the exception to prove the rule. That’s a great identity to embrace and hopefully, I will reach it.

XOXO

B